i just want to hold your hand.

i just need to know that yes,

i'm here, and present and alive,

and yes, you're here and

with me and breathing,

and everything may not be okay

but at least we have each other.

that would be enough.

let's sneak out and

drive somewhere, anywhere.

far enough away

that all of our troubles

no longer seem relevant.

we can look at the stars and

talk about the universe and

how insignificant we seem

in comparison to the galaxies

and planets and universe.

we can talk about the world and

all of the problems

the human race has created for itself.

or we can not talk at all.

we can just lie there and

get lost in our own thoughts,

comforted by the idea of

one another's presence.

and maybe we're both just

two small pieces of the universe

that were lucky enough

to find our way to each other.

but you're the night sky

to my broad daylight.

we were meant to be together.

you asked me to describe you,

and i found myself at a loss

for words

(which doesn’t happen very often;

words usually pour out of me

like water from a fountain).

you mean the entire fucking world to me,

how do i put that into words?

how do i put you into words?

you're the literal light of my life:

you’re a ray of sunshine,

a respite from the constant thunder and rain

that seems to follow me around no matter where i go.

you pour constant love and warmth into me,

so much so that

even on the gloomiest of days,

i feel happy and okay.

you’re my inspiration;

i look up to you in every possible way.

you make me want to be a better person,

show me what that could be like.

you are soft and gentle and kind.

you’re the feeling of coming home

of watching a movie under the blankets

with a cup of hot cocoa

of finding something that you thought you had lost,

and the relief because

you couldn’t imagine living

without something so amazing.

you’re the feeling of safety and security,

of knowing that everything’s going to be okay,

of opening a new book and becoming immersed

in an entirely new world, something you never could’ve dreamt up.

you’re the feeling i get when my favorite song comes on,

shouting the lyrics and knowing i’m off-key but not caring.

you remind me what it’s like to feel alive,

what it’s like to feel human

(and how can i put that into words?)

you came into my life

with an entire universe

caged inside your mind,

stardust in your veins,

and an energy that radiated off you

like rays of light from the sun

that I couldn't help but absorb.

i guess i  just wanted

to thank you;

you made me view the world

in a different light and

i'd like to think that I did the same

for you.

I’m ashamed to say I’ve become a bit of a thief;

A pickpocket of sorts.

It started out small.
A few roses from our neighbors’ garden, every now and then.

I knew it was wrong to take something that wasn’t mine,

But I fell in love with the way your eyes lit up

when I held out those little bits of stolen life, stolen joy.

It soon escalated.
I saw the way you gazed lovingly up at the moon,

and I became determined to make it yours.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried,

The moon remained unattainable.
There is only one, after all.

I figured I’d aim for the next best thing, so
I hope you like the stars I stole for you.

I suppose I could plead innocent to this crime,
But that would be lying.

After all, I knew exactly what I was doing,

With every cruel word I threw at you,
Like a game of darts with your heart as the target.

You tell me that despite having broken up with me,

You can’t possibly forget me because all your demons have my voice.
I suppose you hoped that would spark remorse within me,
And serve as some sort of proof that there’s evidence of what I’ve done.

But darling, I don’t think you understand;

That was my intention all along:
To leave an imprint in your life.

I’ve always been enamored by graffiti on public property.

I suppose destroying your self-esteem

And sense of security

Was my way of imitating that;

Leaving my mark on something that mine to begin with.Wasn’t

If it’s any consolation,

I’m not proud of the person I’ve become.
But at this point, I’m afraid

It’s too late to try to change.  

I’m sorry it took so long to write this.
I swear I’ve been meaning to get around to it for quite some time now,
I just kept putting it off.
But I don’t think I needed to tell you that;
After all, you were more than accustomed to my negligent behaviors.

I should’ve been more careful with your heart;

I know that now.

I was so caught up in my mess of a life and
I guess I took it out on you.

I was so terrified that one day you’d wake up

And it would hit you that I was selfish and
Reckless and in the end,
No good for you.

So I distanced myself,

Failed to be there for you when you needed it the most;

And you were the one that had to pay the price.

Survivor’s guilt has filled
Now I’ve got an empty bed and the spaceup

That your body used to occupy.

(I miss you, and if I could go back in time,
I’d do it in a heartbeat.)