if the x-axis represented

the year we met, and

the y-axis represented

the year we stopped talking,

our point of intersection

would most likely be (14,15).

and sometimes, it seems so unfair.

sometimes i wish

we were parallel lines, and

we never met in the first place.

other times i wish

our lines coincided, and

we had an infinite number of solutions;

an infinite amount of time

to know each other.

but our relationship is beautiful

too, in its own way.

we're two lines with

a plethora of things in common,

and our lives got to cross

for just a small amount of time.

we got to find each other,

and then drift apart again, and

i'd rather have

one point of intersection

than none at all.

you didn't plant roses in my mind.

you didn't cultivate a garden of the most exquisite flowers

in the saddest parts of me.

---

but you planted chrysanthemums there-

less common and striking, but known for their endurance.

but you slowly tended to all the weeds,

pulling them out one by one.

but you made sure that even after you were gone,

I'd be able to take care of myself.

---

with or without you.

i believe that the universe

placed your atoms and molecules

near mine so that we could meet.

so that you could teach me how to love,

and what love even was in the first place.

then once you did that, the universe

took you away again.

and i’m okay with that now.

your soulmate doesn't always have to be the person you end up falling in love with.

your soulmate can be your best friend, your cousin, your teacher, an internet friend, your aunt/uncle, your neighbor, anyone. they're just someone that you fit well with. someone that understands you, when seemingly no one else will. they are NOT your other half, because you are not a half. you are an entire, whole human being. you do not rely on your soul mate- or anyone- to complete you, because you are the only one that can complete yourself. your soul mate just helps you see the world in a different light, when you most need it. and maybe they won't stick around. maybe you'll only be with them fleetingly. maybe you'll be lucky enough to grow with them, and be in their life even when you're both old. maybe you have more than one soulmate. either way, appreciate them for what they are. love them with every fiber in your being. and when they're gone, be grateful that they were there to impact you- that they helped mold you into the amazing and wondrous person that you are.

i want to write

i want to write about something

that is not you, for once

which is pretty fucking ironic because here i am

writing

about

you.

i want to write about growth.

about being able to look at myself

completely naked

and see mountains and rivers and flowers and

the beauty of the earth entwined with mine.

i am able to look in the mirror now

and that is not something i would’ve said proudly

two years ago,

or even two weeks ago.

i want to write about love.

not romantic love,

for i am sick of falling prey to society’s constant messages that

the only way to receive validation is through someone who is willing to

fuck you.

fuck that.

i receive validation every time i look into my best friend’s eyes,

and am met with warmth and admiration and respect and support.

i want to talk about eyes.

not about how i could get lost in yours,

because i got so lost that i couldn’t find my way back home, once.

no,

i want to talk about the way a set of eyes tend to crinkle at the corners

when the person they belong to is smiling, or laughing.

i want to talk about the way it lights up a room.

i want to talk about the fact that someone told me once

i light up a room every time i walk inside it, and so now,

i emulate the sun, no matter how hard it seems some days,

no matter how much it feels like i am destined to be a perpetual

rain cloud.

i want to talk about storms.

about the fact that they somehow always pass and

there is always some calm to be found in the eye of them and

there is always something positive to be found in the wreckage,

and there is always something to be learned

from the struggle to survive.

i want to talk about surviving.

about the fact that everyone survives on a daily basis, but

so few people live anymore.

i have made it my personal mission to live,

and i’ve accepted

the burdens associated

with the task given.