Dear Future Me,

Please don’t forget to love.

It is by loving that we truly live.

Please don’t forget not to keep your heart locked up.

It is feeling everything that makes us human.

Please don't forget to dance.

It is the movement of freedom.

And lastly, please don't forget to smile.

For when you do, the world will smile with you.

Love, Current Me

realize that all those flaws you see in the mirror

are visible to only you, and you alone.

and all those cruel things that you say to yourself;

are heard only by you, and you alone.

and all the most embarrassing things that you’ve ever done

are remembered only by you, and you alone.

no one else would notice your insecurities.

no one else would be so mean to you

in the middle of the night as you try to sleep.

no one else would continually remind you of your mistakes.

no one else could ever hurt you that much.

except yourself.

you are always the only one.

1. Bad days will pass; the sadness will go away. Good days will pass; happiness doesn't last forever. Nothing does.   

2. Not everything is worth your time or energy or brain space. Sometimes you need to just let things go.

3. You're not alone. You never were. You are surrounded by people that care about you, and if you don't think so, look closer.

4. Mental health and physical health come before grades and school, always. You need to take care of yourself.

5. The most self-destructive thing you can do would be to place all your love and happiness into someone else's hands, without leaving any for yourself. People are fluid. They change, and one day you might find that they left all your love to wither and die out on the street, with no regard for your feelings.

6. The hardest thing to do is to love yourself. But the hardest thing and the right thing are usually the same.

7.  You never actually wanted to die. You just wanted to start living.

8. It's okay to cry. Contrary to popular belief, crying doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're human.

9. Life is way too short for you to spend it surrounded by people that don't care, or people that make you feel crappy. Be with people that fill you with positivity and light; people that are willing to stay up until two in the morning with you because your mind is a mess and you don't trust yourself to be left alone. Be with people that love you with every fiber of their being, and that you love even more than that.

10. You need to remember that once upon a time you were a little child, wide-eyed and curious about the world. You didn't lash out at people, you didn't harm yourself on purpose, you didn't starve yourself just so you could be lovely. And some nights, if your entire mind is attacking every single thing that you've ever done, it helps to pretend that you're that little kid again, because how could you possibly hate the three year old version of yourself? You can't. But you're still that three year old version of yourself. And that five year old version, and that nine year old version, and that eleven year old version, somewhere deep down. And if you can't find one single thing to love about your current self, that's okay. Find something to love about any of the other versions. Anything.

11. The coldest, cruelest people were once as warm and welcoming as the sun. So the next time you’re walking around and you decide that the world is an awful place, look closer. See the people around you as they are when they’re with the person they love. See them as they are when their eyes are lit up and they’re talking or thinking about something that they’re really passionate about. Look past the walls that they’ve built around themselves. The world is not an awful place full of broken people. The world is a beautiful place full of fragile precious people that are lost and wandering but still hopeful. If you look around and see misery, look around again and see what’s hidden behind the misery.

12. You're only here on this Earth for a short period of time. You're born, you go through life, then you die. You were blessed with a little bit of the galaxy in your body and stardust in your veins. So make the most out of every single moment that passes by, because you might not wake up tomorrow.

you need to live for the little moments.

for dancing in your kitchen all by yourself.

for spinning around in the rain.

for the random bursts of inspiration.

for little adventures in the city, for exploring

and getting lost but

enjoying every minute of it.

for body-positive days, when you decide

that you feel like rocking that almost-too-short dress

and those glittery heels and eyeshadow and that dark red lipstick.

for baking at 2 in the morning.

for having movie marathons, complete

with popcorn and lots of chocolate.

//

for that feeling you get when you discover a new book

that you fall instantly in love with.

for that feeling you get when you stumble across

something you accepted was lost.

for the feeling you get when you can finally play that song

that you've been practicing for hours and hours and

it sounds amazing.

//

for all the times that you'll laugh so hard

you can hardly breathe.

and all the days that you'll spend in that one coffeeshop,

surrounded by people that make you feel okay.

for being able to see the bands that you listen to constantly

live in concert, and your voice getting lost in the crowd

as you all sing along to the song that has kept you

from falling apart time and time again.

you have so much to live for.

but most importantly, you have to live

for yourself.

i love you so fucking much, and holy shit

i just wish you could see yourself the way i see you, because

every time you look in the mirror, your lip trembles slightly

as you instantly find 20 things to hate about yourself.

you can’t stand your own reflection, and it breaks my fucking heart.

society has convinced you that your stomach isn’t flat enough,

and your acne is too prominent, and your thighs are too thick,

and your hair isn’t wavy enough, and your teeth/nose are too crooked, and

your clothing is too plain.

and now, you’re too busy trying to ignore the voices in your head

that are convinced you will always be insufficient

to realize just how brilliant you truly are. i would scream until my voice was hoarse just to make you understand:but

you are enough.

you have always been more than enough.

When you’re sad, don’t let yourself stay sad. Don’t throw a pity party, but throwing a party is a good idea. Have a sleepover with some really close friends. Buy three cartons of ice cream and split them between all of you. Go to a random park and blow bubbles for the fun of it. If it’s raining, throw off your shoes and let your hair out then go outside and dance to the beat of the raindrops. If you can, invite a friend over and dance in the rain together. It’s so much more fun with someone else, although it is amazing to dance without anyone watching, without anyone judging. Bake brownies, or cookies, or cake, or all three. Bake as much as you want (or as much as you can without using up all the ingredients in the household, please). Go out to the beach and just listen to the sound of the waves and let it calm you down. Go on 8tracks, find some really raw and angry music, and turn it up really loud until it drowns out all your thoughts and all you can think of and all you can feel is the music being played. Grab a pack of matches, take them outside, and light them all, just to watch them die out. You’ll find that there’s something oddly satisfying about lighting something on fire. Take one of your blankets, bring it to the park (or the backyard), and spread it out. Then lie on your back and enjoy the view of the night sky. Marvel at the stars and their beauty. Paint something if you want. Or, just splatter paint all over a canvas, until your artwork matches your emotions, all jumbled up together like the thoughts in your mind. And just breathe. But please don’t harm yourself in any way shape or form. Don’t cut to take the pain away, don’t drink to numb yourself, don’t do drugs and give yourself a temporary high, please don’t do any of those things. Let yourself feel the pain, then do something about it. But don’t try to stop the pain temporarily. It never works.

I know things seem bad now, darling, but I promise there are so many adventures that you still need to go on. There are museums with amazing exhibits that will make you question the world around you. There are hole-in-the-wall coffee shops with strange looking concoctions that will actually taste delicious. There are all types of strange birds that you will get to see flying around. There are campfires that you will make, and you'll get to roast s'mores on. There are concerts that you will forget yourself at. There are beaches with amazing sunsets that you'll get to witness. There are natural wonders all over the world that you'll get to marvel at. There are still so many things for you to see. Hold on.

you matter. all the little things you do make such a big impact on others. you are a presence in someone else's life, and the absence of you would be the absence of a hug when they look sad, the absence of your favorite lyrics written on their hands, the absence of a compliment and a smile, the absence of passionate discussions about your favorite characters. your absence will leave a gaping you-shaped hole in the universe. please don't go. 

you should always be your first priority. always. you need to take care of yourself, make sure you're doing okay. if that means pretending that you're someone else, do it. pretend you're the person you're in love with. take yourself out on dates. go on a shopping spree. buy yourself a gigantic tub of your favorite ice cream and eat it all as you watch your favorite movie while huddled under a bunch of blankets on your bed. take a mental health day for yourself if you're feeling overwhelmed. go to the bookstore, find a new author that you've never heard of before. start reading a book by them. go to a coffee shop that you've never visited before. try something new. make yourself happy. live.